Dear readers
Hope everyone is well for a Monday !!! I was up early by at univercity hospital I was acutually there on time!! Not to much traffic!
This was a long time coming 6 months not been able to drives and they took that away from me , doctors have the ability to take the things u love away from u lol I begening to see the pattern !
First it was me teaching full time when I was at a day care center in my lass room feeling so organize with with what I'm supposed to be doing till one day staff infection entered my body went every where except jut very close to my heart!
So that several years I had a pacemaker defibulator placed in me 2009 plus shortly later few years after divorce for my husband at the time, my world was falling apart though I had no idea why I was holding it all to closly doing things in my own power !
God has shown me apart from him I can do nothing, which is. Absolute true he wanted me to surrendure my all to him everything I held on so closly even when my spouse was unfaithful the whole time and be littles me mentally abuce for 7 yr but
The Lord just kept telling me to let it go! It's not for me I was living in the wrong world the world The Lord wants us all to live is
Jeremiah 29:11 for I know the plans I have for u declairs The Lord plans for hope future
So a lot has happend between my divorce and healing time I did let go of it all & surrendure even when I got the call from my step daughter saying
"Carrie dad's been in a motor cycle accident dad doesn't look so good night not make it :(" I was shocked let me explain between times
3 years after my devorce I met my old time crush / friend again! Robert Allen barker he was healing from his first divorce since 2001 with his horrible marriage he was emotionally abususe with his first wife also,
Rob had found me after 13 yrs! Aug 10 ,2012! He left me a message from a mutual friends page in fb that's how our beautiful relationship started to bloom just like a butterfly!
Our love grew from the start. One day I asked rob when did u new u first loved me!? He said back 2001!" Then I married my ex he told me so we went off seperate ways!
Then he was asking all his friends that we use to be together and asking how i was.
Rob has told me that The Lord was tug at his heart telling him he must find me again ! So when he message me
My heart jumped for joy I had always had a secret crush in him so shocked surprised that he message me after all these years !!
We met reunited 2012 and Robert purposed to me thanks giving night in front of my family dinner on all three of my sides if family were together !!
They all loved Robert amdeitly and I met all his side father family I love them all and fit right in in !!!!! I felt so warm and welcome
So we got married June 7 2014! Yes 3 months ago! We r still newly weds an we are best friends more closer then ever most of all we love each other even tho we r not perfect ! We still can't live a day without one another I believe that's true love love is actions ,
So when my ex daughter calls me in tears , telling me about her dad. So I saw them at the hospital were my ex was air lifted to and I couldn't believe my eyes I was devastated I had to had one of my girlfriends to come with me I would not been in good shape to drive at the time!!!! So my fiancé rob was home. I didn't think at the time he should go with me. This was march 2 years ago!
When I saw him in the room I didn't recognize my ex at all it was awful I can't describe it in words I always had this dream he would end up this way he loved his bike so much my heart sank I saw his tatoos and that was all, I asked the docs if he could hear me he was induce coma
I touched his cold arm tears rolled down steadily I chocked out some words I sai dan I have always loved u but u never loved back u didn't know how to I forgiven everything u have done wrong to me even when u think I didn't know I new dan will always love u pray for your kids I will not be apart of your kids in the past I'm letting go.
There is someone who loves me for me wants to mary me love an care for me
Everyday of my life I forgave everything u have done good by dan were ever u are going"
After that his dad lead me out in the hall my knees gave way and I trembles in to be in his dad's arms and cried and cried cried and everything came back hit me all at once !
So I came home to rob my man I my dream and he was there for me and held me in his arms and until we laughed!
The hardest desion was to stay home from his funeral my ex,
My cousin went for me and she knew the step kids they were a part of my family long time so when she arrived back she told me the story how it was she said
"Carrie I'm so glad u didn't go the woman he was with behind my back many years was there at the service !!! She said that would have broken my heart all over again! "
So I was blessed beyond measures knowing I was listening to Jesus wen he spoke to my heart about not going to that service to home with my fiancé the man who does love me and is there for me !
So I was so peaceful knowing I trusted In gods words to my heart when he wispered loudly clearly not to go!
So Robert is my best friend and lover my rock strength to lean on that but more blessing is Jesus is all those things and even much more he is Jesus in my her the is the joy of my strength strength of my heart carries me day to day my heart glows knowing he restores heals my pain and gives me a spouse that we are suitable for each other! To mend our brokenness three strands are kit easily broken with Jesus in the center of rob and I lives !
Praying as a couple everyday. Is what keeps us going strong and his love for Robert and I that we know in our broken ness that in different paths of lives God was preparing our lives together for at a stronger time in our own lives to be together!
I yesterday was our 3 month anniversary and we r still glowing with 3 strands Which is gods strength He leaves us with a smile when Robert has to drive long way back to the oil field in North Dakota
His Sqedual is 17 days work home for 7
So I'm sory about telling u my broken ness past & hi broken ness dear readers gods telling me to write this maybe it's because some one Ells going throu broken ness doesn't seen possible to get through friends I've been there it's called fear!
That's what keeps us from changing our surroundings !!"
So readers I am leading u up till today !! May 23 before our wedding I had four stents placed in my heart! I was having fast arithmia heart rate!! So the doctors took away my privalage to drive for 6 months and today was my appointment pace maker defib! They said "Carrie it looks great u had 0 times of arrithmia heart rate !!!!
Meening u can start driving again :)
Every thing is for a season in time that's what makes me focus on my walk with Christ daily & it helps so so much he walks with us daily helps us through as we rely in him not focus us our fears on never getting out!
So my friends hear is another way I seeing how God works in our lives it's like wen your cooking spegity and u drain the water all the water goes through the drainer before it hits the sink and down the drain.
God never let's anything go beyond through his hands before it gets to us and nothing we go through drains down the drain next time When u make the pasta I pray u remember this nothing that comes your way is by accident or
Mistake because everything god does is for our good to be stronger closer to be with Christ and to help others out with what they maybe going through !!
So don't think life is going down the drainer for nothing as you get older it's a day closer to to being with Christ when he calls us home nothing goes in vein that God does not use he makes all things for good Romans 8:28
All things work together for our good for those that love him"
So my point is don't be over cooked pasta keep your eye on the goal which is the timing u cook your pasta and when u feel drained a the water through the drainer wholes it's not for nothing all what god brings u trough he will walk you through it !!:) if u let Him:)
Let God use your story to bless others around u :)
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